Men's Rights vs. Women's Rights

A lot has been happening lately in my life and I am lucky enough to have a fantastic wife to be supportive and understanding right now with what I have to do. Without going into names and details, I have a friend that is most likely about to go into a bitter custody battle which is only the icing on the cake of disasters within the past couple days after his wife left him with their baby with nothing but a TV and bed in the house.

It got me thinking about a recent blog I read on the differences in how each sex is treated in every day life. It also reminded me of an article that even related to that blog. I want to share those with you here today.

First up from Jodi Kasten's blog:

"Bob and Jane are a middle class couple. They have two children. They get an amicable divorce. There is a custody hearing. Both of them are good parents. Both of them want to be the primary custody holder. Who gets the children? Seriously, every single time, unless Jane lights up a crack pipe in the courtroom she will get physical custody. Bob is expected by society to be happy with every other weekend and two weeks in the summer. Don’t believe me? What would you think if you heard that a woman only saw her children every other weekend and a few holidays? I PROMISE you would think, “What did she do to lose her kids?” But, with men, that’s just the way it goes, right?

What message does it send to men about what sort of fathers they should be when it's made clear by the courts and their ex-wives that their most important contribution as fathers is a timely child support payment?

Even in less weightier arenas men lose out. If you drive by a house with a dying lawn, is your first thought about what a crappy homeowner the WOMAN is who lives there? Doubt it.

How about at work? Women can openly talk in the break room about the hot new guy in Receiving. What kind of pigs are the men who talk about the hot new manager who happens to be a woman? If a woman asks a male co-worker out on a date, the worst that can happen is rejection. For a man, the worst that can happen is the loss of his job and a sexual harassment suit. Is that gender equality?

Women can wander the world and hug every child they see without suspicion. If a woman gathers the neighborhood children together to organize a community garden, she’s a saint. If a man does it, people wonder if he’s a pedophile. Don’t believe me? Imagine you’re in a toy store and a woman shopping alone comments on what a beautiful little girl you have. You are pleased and flattered. You fill in the woman’s story in your head. She’s probably an overworked mother out to buy toys for a birthday or holiday. What about the middle-aged man wandering that same store alone? Wouldn’t it at least cross your mind that he could be a pervert? Of course it would.

It’s completely okay, even applauded, when female writers, comediennes, singers, song writers and talk show hosts make sweeping generalizations about ALL men being stupid, sex driven, lazy assholes. How do we feel about men who say that women are all crazy, hormonal, irrational, ditzy, frigid bitches?

Thousands of men in America today are routinely physically abused by women. What shelter do they show up at with their children and the clothes on their backs? What would it take to get you to believe that a six-foot-tall, 200 pound man is abused by his tiny little wife? But, every single one of us has seen a woman who could easily beat her husband’s ass being smacked around by a wiry little Napoleon-like man. What would you think of a man you heard say, “I am afraid of my wife?”

What a wussy, right?"

All of this is extremely true and I must say that for a woman to write this, is actually very touching that she can understand from an outside perspective, very classy.

I do have to add to this though with what happens in the work place. Lilly Ledbetter, she happens to be praised for her actions of equal pay for all sexes, there is a problem though, there are a lot of loopholes that were not avoided or alluded to in these situations and the government made it extremely hard to operate with women in their workforce. Here are some examples of why women would make less than men, but, are now expected to be paid the same no matter what:

1. If the woman is physically unable to do the job. Ex. Working in a warehouse. If she needs a man to do the heavy lifting every time she can't do it, not only should she not be in that position BUT if she is allowed to be, the man doing the EXTRA work SHOULD be paid more.

2. If a woman is paid less than a man who has more experience OR has been with the company longer, she can still file discrimination and get equal pay. How does that even make sense? You earn your way up the ladder (Despite how many Gen Y'ers feel there is no ladder anymore)

3. If a woman and a man both apply for the same position and they are hiring two people:
a.) The man negotiates a higher salary and the terms are agreed to.
b.) The woman, to avoid confrontation and the possibility of losing the opportunity, agrees to the set salary and ends up getting paid less.

She was unwilling to negotiate BUT if she finds out he is getting paid more, she can file for discrimination and win.

I am sure there are more situations, and if you happen to know some or have lived through some I would love to hear about them so I can gather even more and update this post.

Moving on, this is another recent article I came across in the Chicago Tribune:

"A third-year student from Lake Bluff has formed Men in Power, a student organization that promises to help men get ahead professionally. But the group's emergence has been controversial, with some critics charging that its premise is misogynistic.

Others say it's about time men are championed, noting that recent job losses hit men harder and that women earn far more bachelor's and master's degrees than do men.

Sharlene Holly, associate dean of students and the director of student activities, said the University of Chicago has approximately nine women's advocacy groups on campus; this group would be the first male advocacy group.
"The name implies some things that I don't love," said Liz Scoggin, a third-year student who joined the group a couple of weeks ago and now heads its outreach efforts. "I feel like it implies there aren't enough men in power or that kind of thing."

But Scoggin, who is close friends with Saltarelli, said she joined after learning more about the group's aims and after she felt assured that the organization would not pursue a sexist agenda.

Jessica Pan, president of Women in Business and a fourth-year student, questioned whether Men in Power's goals were being met by existing student groups.

"I'm not sure we really need another student organization that focuses on pre-professional development for men," Pan said, noting that, in just the area of business, there were five or six students groups that were gender-neutral."

First of all AGAIN, I have to applaud a woman here, Liz Scoggin, who not only supports this group as a woman but has also joined it, which is a statement of it's own!

In the same breath I would also say shame on you Jessica Pan, 9 women's advocacy groups on campus and you are upset that there is 1 male one??

The whole article just shows how men are discriminated against nowadays. Because things used to be different does not mean that those situations are still current day situations in even 10% of cases.

Pretty interesting stuff.